Neota at Weddings

Question

In this country it is the custom that when the groom’s wedding procession is about to set off, a vessel is placed before the groom, and everyone puts some amount of money in it; this is called neota (a customary money gift). Then this money is taken by the groom or his heirs. Is this permissible? And is a basis for it found in the Shari‘a or not? Mawlana Ashraf ‘Ali Thanawi ﵀ called it the worst of sins, while this respected scholar calls this custom maintaining the ties of kinship (silat al-rahim).

Answer

If this is done by way of help, and there is no showing off, seeking of name and fame and the like, then it is right according to the Shari‘a and even commendable (mustahsan). But in its prevailing form it is nothing but custom and convention, and often it is given under the pressure of the biradari (kinship community)

Source: Fatawa Mahmudiyya

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